The rules of Colima, Mexico – If you ever plan on coming to Colima, Mexico, this is a short list of how to fit in.
Walk down the street drinking a juice or yogurt from a straw out of a bag
Bring your own bbq to a party to make carne asada
Put lime and salt in your beer
Make Michelada’s, your drink of choice
For men: Wear a cowboy hat (in this part of town) and/or gawk at everyone woman that passes by. Especially the foreign one that hates any sort of attention.
For women: Have perfect eyebrows and never leave home without your chunk heeled shoes.
Listen to Mexican music as loud as possible, all.the.time.
For men: Always wait for a woman to exit first. Carry her bag(s).
For women: When passing a man on the sidewalk, walk closest to the wall (to avoid the common belief that walking closest to the road means you are a “street worker”).
Greet each person individually with a kiss (for women) and a handshake for men. Same rule applies when leaving.
Drive a car that backfires outside of a house with open windows at 2 in the morning
Pump your index finger up and down to show you agree (without actually saying any words)
Listen to, and love, electronica.
Don’t listen to, and hate, reggaeton
I realized yesterday after the taxi driver told me he had seen me walking around town, could name exactly where I had been, and described my (tiny) neck tattoo, that I might be sticking out as a foreigner. I think the old man who gave me two wet kisses on the cheek because I was a gringa might also be an indication. Therefore I will embrace the ability to wear skin tight clothes in the sweltering heat (somehow without sweating), wear shoes that make me four to six inches taller, buy a bbq so I can start making friends with my awesome carne asada, somehow muster up the ability to lie about my preferance for reggaeton over electronica, and try to exercise my index finger more.
Also should probably work on getting a tan and learning Spanish….(all this in exactly that order)
Oh I forgot one thing. Get a dog that NEVER STOPS BARKING….(it will most likely be a chihuahua)